Friday, March 22, 2013

The Single Life

Dear Universe,

Why the fuck am I not gay? No I'm fucking serious! Why am I not a God damn homosexual? In my life as a straight man I have a total of 1 out of 3. I am Unemployed, I live in a basement and I am painfully single. Of course I have no proof the world would be a better place but I have the word of homosexual men everywhere (or at least that I know). If I was gay I know at least one guy who has offered me a home, sex and in all likelihood a job. Single-handedly Homosexuality can fix every problem I have but I can't do it. Fuck you Universe and Human body.


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