Saturday, February 5, 2011

What's Up With: Running Zombies?

Feel free to just watch the video at the bottom, it is the entire argument with a little special at the end. Highlight!

I've been asked “Why do I hate running zombies so much?”

It's the evolution of the genre. Zombies aren't scary anymore unless they run? Past that zombies just aren't scary anymore.

And to that I say wrong! Zombies are supposed to instill the fear that zombies are in fact you. They are basically human minus all that make us what we are. Zombies have no inhibitions, their only drive is to eat. They lack absolutely any negative thoughts on killing. Not to mention the massive numbers that zombies come in. You are constantly surrounded by them, there is absolutely no escape. Your friends and family are dead, your very way of life no longer exists, and absolutely every moment of your life will be a waking nightmare, filled with the screams of your loved ones as they are ripped asunder by the undead menace. And all of this isn't even taking into account the horrid visage of the walking abominations. The twisted looks of the birthday clown who was mauled to death at a children’s party, children’s innards covering his once bright and happy colors stained with the blood of the innocent. The limbs of your loved ones used as crude bludgeoning tools. You will forever be doomed to a life of suffering and death. That is what zombies are about. The running does absolutely nothing but take out the disbelief. That’s right that wasn't even the actual answer. That was just my own personal feelings on the matter.

The actual reason I hate running zombies so very much is it breaks the laws of nature and science. And yes zombies are in fact a part of nature, as proven here Cracked Top 5 Reasons a Zombie Apocalypse Could Actually Happen.

The very thought of zombies running isn't even the worst part, it's the decaying corpse zombies running that bothers me. As illustrated by the Scene from Dawn of the Dead(2004) where during the big escape from the mall all of the very obviously rotting corpses not only give chase but run with the ability of Olympic runners. And that goes against science and that is what bothers me. By the point to which they have rotted they would not be able to run at all, in fact walking would be a rather large problem, but of course they still could. By the point to which they have rotted in the movie their tendons and muscles would have rotted to the point where if they had even attempted to running like that they would have snapped and been rendered very immobile or at least their legs would be useless. And that is why I hate the prospect of running zombies. But of course past that there is also a scene that just pisses me off because this is what people think of when they think of zombies.

Ninja Zombies...

Song: Strong And Strike

Artist: Toshiro Masuda

Album: The Naruto Offical Soundtrack

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